I started writing this as we were resting in our hotel room on our last day in Old Quebec City. Part of me is like “NO! We need to go out and see/do more!!!”…. but another part of me was like “No, my feet and legs hurt. Just relax!”. So as we relaxed, I decided to sign up for a free trial crossfit class for next week.

Because the longer I wait, the more likely a month will have gone by and I still haven’t tried it, which means I wouldn’t have started it, and the next thing I’d know, it would be 2023 and I’d have more health issues.

And that is completely unacceptable.

As hubby and I sat and waited for our incredibly decadent, expensive final dinner, close to tears, I confessed my frustration, anger, disappointment, insecurities… and desire to change. I told him I would need his help with physical activity and how I wanted our eating habits at home to change.

We’ve gotten lazy. We’ve gotten complacent. We’ve been eating like crap – and that needs to change.

While on holidays – over 4 days (we arrived 1530 Tuesday and departed 0730 Friday) I/we took over 260 photos and I tried to make sure we were both in photos – either individually or together.

Honestly? It was hard to look back on the photos at the end of each day. Even though I didn’t notice it during the day, all I could see when looking at the photos was my thick midsection, thick arms and back/armpit fat, swollen ankles.

I don’t like it.

I think I’ve moved from “body positivity” to “body neutrality”; I don’t hate my body, but I want to change.

AND THAT’S OKAY!!!

For the past 5/6 years, I’ve been about body positivity, anti diet culture, etc… and I think it’s actually been detrimental to my health as the pendulum has swung too far in the opposite direction.

There needs to be a balance; balance between activity and rest, and healthful eating and pleasure eating. And at the moment, it’s been primarily rest and pleasure/convenient eating…. for me. For my husband it’s a little less essential as his metabolism and activity levels are very different from mine – but he ALWAYS supports me. Always.

Here’s the thing. No matter where you are regarding your health or fitness, you can CHOOSE to change. You can support body positivity and body neutrality and choose to change. You can eat healthy and not support diet culture.

Do what’s best for you at your current stage of life – and don’t be afraid to change that direction if you feel the need.