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  1. Hey there Kaylee, how you doing!? I just went through your blog and its totally fab, keep up this effort love and have a nice day! ❤
    Looking forward to reading from your blog more 🙂
    You have a new follower 😉

  2. Thank you for sharing the loss and life of your father! Your post really struck an emotional chord with me on this Memorial Day. I love how you described in your writing that you are writing this so that you remember all of the details. I lost my grandfather to cancer and he was like a dad to me. Then I lost my best friend followed by my uncle three months later. My grandfather and best friend were diagnosed in the same week. My best friend battled for three years. My grandfather passed on March 13, 2015. My best friend passed on March 14, 2017. My uncle passed on June 14, 2017. Loss is so darn hard. I hate cancer. I wish I had written about my grandfather at the time, but I did not have a blog space at that time. I did write about my best friend and I shared what I wrote for her funeral. Thank you for sharing your story. Praying for healing and restoration for you and your mom and your family.

    • Thank you for your comment, I’m glad it resonated with you. Death is hard, but not addressing the grief makes it so much worse. It took me a LONG time to realize that not grieving and dealing with my emotions about my dad was making it impossible to heal and move on. That EVERY time I thought of my dad, all I replayed in my head was my mom coming into the room saying “He’s not breathing”. That’s what my memory was… because that was the memory that was guaranteed to make me cry. It was like my mind was trying to get me to grieve. Unfortunately, I was numbing those emotions so as I was replaying that memory, I was doing everything to not deal with them. Only when I gave up drugs and alcohol was I forced to come to terms with them.

      I hope your grief process was a little less destructive than mine – and I hope you find peace.

      Cancer sucks…

  3. Adore this post! I know that I need to look at the world like that but it can be tough to reframe our pre-wired responses at times! Thank you for a great blog post! 🙏🏼

    • I’m glad you enjoyed! And I agree, it IS hard to change the knee-jerk reactions we’ve always done! And it’s easily to slip back into bad habits! I have to remind myself to breathe and relax before responding all the time!

    • Thank you for your comment! I honestly don’t know where my strength comes from. It’s been a process, though. A big part has been identifying areas that I need to change – awareness is a major step. Meditation, Reiki, and yoga had been a huge part of my recovery and change. I also read/listen to a lot of books. Keeping an open mind is vital – because if you want to change, it’s not going to happen with past thought patterns or habits.

      • What were you recovering from? Not the actual pain which must have been caused by something. What was that “something” that brought all this upon your wonderful soul?

      • That’s a really tough question. I’ve certainly been through a lot of really shitty situations that caused plenty of pain – mostly mental/emotional. Part of it would be expectations – expectations from family and friends and society saying that I need to look and act and behave a certain way; that I need to conform to certain ideals whether or not they are what I want.

        Also, not necessarily recovering from, and possibly the ultimate rebellion of the expectations of others, but taking ownership of my life by my terms – and with that, not letting the shitty situations of my past define my future.

      • Via writing, I think you are doing a great job. I am not interested in any specific situation or character that caused you that much pain. What I like seeing is that you giving your pain a voice and a strategy to handle it. When someone does not try to give me pain, I am shocked. I am actually prepared for the worst, yet expect always the best. A positive attitude of mine inspired by reading Dale Carnegie’s book “Stop worrying start living” since my teenage. Resultantly, I don’t have any such “too” painful experience to process.

      • I’ve put that book on my list!

        Admittedly, I was pretty self-centered and hot headed when I was younger. It’s taken a very long time to get to a place where I, not only knew I needed to change but also wanted to change. Learning and growing personally also gave insight into others – that when someone says or acts in a negative way towards me, it’s a reflection of them and what they’re going through. That empathy and understanding is very helpful… not perfect but helpful.

      • Wow… your soul has traveled a lot from a hot headed Kaylee to this beauty with brain 🙂 How has your love (hubby or Boyfriend) been of any help in your path to happiness?

      • I’ve been blessed with my husband. We started dating when I was 16 so we’ve been through it all – and not all good! He’s certainly been a major influence in my life – he’s very calm and relaxed – a perfect balance when we were younger! He’s always supported me in everything I have done and he’s always loved me unconditionally. He’s happy that I’ve found this path and that it’s made me a calm influence for him as well. He’s been going through some struggles now, so I can support him like he’s done for me for so long. If I had the mentality like I did 20 years ago, our relationship would be extremely strained.

        All relationships require balance and that balance will shift depending on the season. During the early part of our relationship, he gave and gave – and I took and took. Now it’s time for me to be the giver and he lean on me .

      • Wow.. first love and the only hubby… the love of your life.. how lucky are you both! I believe the ones who have awesome relationships, they should write their secrets in form of blog posts or books. That will help many first-timers like myself.

  4. Honestly, that’s the hardest question I’ve been asked. I think part of it is because of where I am in my recovery. I don’t necessarily think of them as a horrible something I have to recover from – but it’s a horrible something that happened to me. That acceptance without labeling is very freeing!

  5. Such a wonderful insight. And I just saw your pic… behind that beautiful brain, a beautiful woman 🙂 🌹👍💕🎈💖

  6. Great read – thanks. Chocolate is one of my downfalls and I refuse to completely give it up, but I’m trying not to eat as much as I was in the habit of doing when I was studying. Into my 15th week of my health journey and it’s slow, but hopefully sustainable progress. I’m looking forward to hearing more about how yours is going 🙂

    • That’s great! And it’s a process! I go through times where I don’t want sweets and other times where it feels like the world is going to end if I don’t have it, lol! It comes to being aware and recognizing patterns and breaking down the patterns to deal with underlying issues. Everything takes time! Keep it up!

    • ~ Exactly! I’ve been happily married for coming up to 24 years and I hate Valentine’s Day. The concept is nice, but yeah. Now adays it’s a marketing/commercial money grab. I was at the grocery store last night and the amount of bouquets of roses and other flowers- and the price!- was ridiculous! I’d rather get flowers on a random day “just because” than on VD! Which is what my hubby does. 😊

  7. It is so crazy, the extents people are going to during this time. I love all of your ideas for how to spend this time! I’ve been reading and doing a lot of walks.

  8. My weight loss journey has been up & down so far too. I keep reminding myself that I’m doing this for better health outcomes rather than the actual weight loss, so any positive changes I’m making to my behaviour are having a positive effect on my health, regardless of whether I can physically see it yet. Not all methods of weight loss are healthy or sustainable. You can be proud of yourself for working towards better health 🙂

  9. I go for walks. Planning to climb more stairs. And use the elastic stretch band more. I have been using free weights at home. I don’t have great big weights. But, a kettlebell is available.

    • That’s great! I think people underestimate how effective bodyweight exercises and using just resistance bands! And, yes, walking more – park further away from store entrances, take stairs instead of elevators or escalators. Everything adds up!

  10. I am a bit confused. Are you mad at your hubby for difficult conversation or are you mad at those people who say hurtful words via difficult conversation?

    • Oh, no – I may not enjoy the difficult conversations with my husband, but I’m certainly not mad/upset at him for it. If anything, the tears I shed was because I was frustrated with myself.

      Armchair warriors and seem to think it’s okay to comment on a strangers body, weight, and apparent health – I see it all the time on my social media. They often feign concern about health but I call bullshit. They don’t care about the person so they’re not careful about their words.

      Sometimes the hard conversations need to happen, but it should never come from someone who is a stranger on the internet. Ultimately, (my husband) is the only one who should be saying anything to me about my weight and health.

  11. Why are you becoming more beautiful in every picture you post? Choice of clothes or some good photography? 🙂

  12. I love your paintings so much! I agree, painting is so calming… I’m planning on taking a panting class at my college. I mostly draw and do some sketches in my sketchbook because it calms me since I’m currently dealing with anxiety myself.

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