With my last blog post, “Confession”, there’s something else I felt compelled to talk about.

Kindness.

Yes, there is kindness towards other people, but I’m talking about kindness towards yourself.

I had all sorts of plans while my husband was away:

• Making new recipes (I’ve made 1 meal because I knew it would last me all week)
• Clean and purge the living area (okay, this I have been doing, but you’d never know looking at the place! For whatever reason, things always look worse before they look better!)
• Clean and purge my room (nope, still messy as ever!)
• Clean and purge the master bedroom (this I haven’t started but it’s still on the to-do list)
• Go to several yoga/spin classes a week (I’ve been once)
• Work on one of several courses I’m signed up for (nope, books not even opened)
• Work on ME with new habits (still non-existent!)
• Record yoga videos (barely even doing any yoga)
• Get in the habit of regularly doing my hair and makeup (I struggled to even shower at some points!)
• Work on my art (new painting started… one day… haven’t worked on it since)
• Get together with my local friends (not even messaged or sent funny videos)

Honestly? It kinda sucks! But what can I do? There’s no “reset” or “undo” button. I can be mad at myself and the choices I did make, or I can forgive myself and move on. I could hate myself and fall back on dangerous / unproductive habits, or I could love myself and make positive change NOW – not tomorrow. Not when my husband gets home.

I could ignore these emotions and continue on the path of shame and guilt, or I can acknowledge these feelings and move past them.

It’s too easy to be mad, upset, angry, fearful, anxious, depressed, disgusted, shameful, and everything in between. Being inundated with information on social media, the news, newspapers, and apps, it’s easy to become overwhelmed. However, this is when we should be MORE compassionate. MORE empathetic. MORE understanding. MORE kind. And if it feels too much to extend it to others, start with yourself. How we show up for others is often a direct result of how we show up for ourselves. It’s often said we teach others how we want to be treated, so we need to show ourselves kindness if we want others to treat us with kindness.

Now, I know this isn’t always the case. Keyboard warriors are rampant on social media. They are cruel and bold and wouldn’t say what they do if they were face to face with the person – or at least I hope not!!! This is often a direct reflection of themselves. They are projecting. “If I had to suffer because of XYZ, then you should too!”. No matter how positive you are, some people will always find something negative to say. And that’s fine. Let them be. Tend to your garden while they neglect theirs.

Could you imagine how much better this world would be if we all just minded our own business? If we celebrated the positives – even with a total stranger? If we helped each other with no expectations of repayment or clout? If we could have a mature discussion with someone we disagree with about our views? If we could keep an open mind when someone expresses their opinion instead of resorting to name calling?

We can be kind to people who have different views than us. We can still respect others if we disagree with them.

Now – disclaimer – I’m not necessarily talking about criminals, people involved in war crimes, and people taking away people’s fundamental human rights, because I know someone is going to bring up politicians and religious extremists. I’m not talking about them. I’m referring to everyday people: neighbors, coworkers, cashiers, other commuters, janitorial staff, and flight attendants. When it comes down to it, these people likely won’t make a difference in the world, but they can help the world be a better place. Just like you. Just like me.

I have no doubt that I am a nobody. I will never be a household name. I don’t have great beauty. However, I am compassionate. I am kind. I am empathetic. I will put aside my own feelings to make sure you’re okay – I was the only person doing anything when the gentleman fell in the Dominican, and even though he didn’t make it, I was with him. I was a voice for him to know he wasn’t alone. And, as the Padre told me, I will never know the ripple effect of my actions, but everyone there knew that at least one person had enough compassion for a stranger to get blood on their hands to try to save them. But it doesn’t need to be a grand gesture like that – I can say with no doubt in my mind that I hope to never go through that again. But just a smile. “Have a great day” or thanking them for what they did. It’s commenting on someone’s social media post to lift them up, to make them smile, to thank them, or encourage them.

With so much that you can have negativity towards, look for things that bring positivity. No matter how small, look for the happy in every day.

It’s like that so-called quote/story of John Lennon (I think – I could be wrong). When he was in school, the teacher asked the class what they wanted to be when they grew up. He put “I want to be happy”, and the teacher said he didn’t understand the question, to which he responded that she didn’t understand life. Now, as much as I doubt he actually said that, I do like the sentiment behind it. What’s the point in life if all we’re doing is going to work to make the money to pay the bills? Why not aim to be happy?

And if we aim to be happy, why would you focus any time on bringing others down?

And that includes yourself, right?

RIGHT??!