The other week was my last therapy session for a while. My depression seems well managed with medication, and my therapist is pleased with my support system. She’s not fully “discharging” me as she wants to wait until after my surgery and after I start my new position in case there is a “relapse”.

Through our conversation, I was telling her that I was feeling a little frustrated that I’m (finally!!!!) starting to feel better from my medication which had me feeling like shit for most of the past couple of months and I’m wanting to start exercising, but with my upcoming surgery and not knowing what recovery is going to look or feel like, I’m a little frustrated. Like, how soon will I be able to even go for a walk, let alone a bike ride or to the gym?

When I had my foot surgeries, I got off pain meds as soon as I could so I could drive and go to the gym. I couldn’t do anything involving legs, but I could train upper body.

Then my therapist asked me something:

Instead of looking at things that way, what about reframing it to give yourself permission to seek joy?

I had already been looking at things to do while off as I don’t find joy watching TV day in and day out. Yes, over a weekend we’ll binge watch a TV show, but I’m going to be off 4-6 weeks, so I want something productive and/or constructive to do.

So here’s a few things I’m going to be doing:

• Embroidery project – I have a boring grey “coat” that has some irritating design flaws (in my opinion). The back yoke of the coat (I don’t think I have the term correct) isn’t tacked down, so when I put it on, if I’m not careful, it flips out and sticks up at the neck and looks stupid. So I had the thought to embroider some designs onto it. I’ve picked up some “stick and stitch” designs, so I’m going to work on that. The coat also doesn’t have buttons or anything, so I’ve picked up some buttons to add.
• Sewing project – I have 2 pairs of linen shorts in natural and black, but I don’t really have anything to go with them (I have a specific style in mind) so I have a pattern and I’ve picked up some linen material that has a pattern that will go with both pairs of shorts.
• Art – as much as I love digital art, I do love and miss creating art. I have some ideas to use up some of my existing materials, but also looking at starting a new small “sketchbook” in watercolor and gouache – which is a medium I’ve never tried but am curious about. I follow an artist on IG who uses it, and it doesn’t stick to itself – so I can paint on both sides of the sketchbook. I also want to do some minimalist texture art with some of my wood panels. Use up the material before it goes bad.
• I’ve ordered a mosquito repellent device so I can have slow mornings outside before it gets too warm.
• Cooking – I’m making lists of recipes I want to try. I’ve really missed cooking but I just find I’m too tired most days to make an effort.
• Meditation and yoga – I’ve been cleaning up my room and purging, slowly taking it back (it’s been a mess for months now) so I can get back to my spiritual journey. It’s been put on the back burner for too long now, and my mental health has suffered for it. I’m sure I will have a lot of reflection to do during my time off.

EDIT: My surgery was a week and a half ago.

The surgery was fine. I was asleep for it, so there’s really not much to say. Yes, I was nervous- especially when I got a call from the hospital the morning of the surgery, but it was to see if I could come in early as there was a cancelation – not that mine was canceled.

Pain was manageable, though I did go get a prescription filled for heavier pain meds. Still wasn’t as bad as the gallstone attack last year, but bad enough that OTC Tylenol wasn’t enough.

On the Sunday, hubby had a brilliant idea; we were planning on going to the cottage to visit our friends the next weekend, so why not see if I can go up early for some “me” time. No schedule, no expectations, no obligations – just me, my art, meditation, on the lake, in nature… so that’s what I did!

I gave it a couple more days to heal, and I waited until I could remove the bandages – and I replaced a couple of the steristrips as they were soaked in blood. Everything looked good, no abnormal swelling or discharge, so I decided that it was clear to go to the cottage!

I decided to go on the Tuesday, since Wednesday was my birthday, I didn’t want to be traveling that day. The drive sucked as I didn’t want to take any pain meds, so by the time I got there, I was exhausted and sore. I unlocked the cottage, had a bite to eat, took some meds, and had a nap.

The Tuesday was a little challenging. It’s the first time I had been up here by myself,  so it took me a little  to relax, but it was so nice when I did! Enjoyed time on the dock and did a painting.

Wednesday was wonderful! Went into town, got a coffee and muffin, bought a fantastic jumpsuit (went back Thursday and bought 2 more – 1 for me, and 1 for my MIL), picked up a new singing bowl, a crystal grid, a few crystals, and a paintbrush. I then had an appointment at a spa for a facial, which was so relaxing! Before returning to the cottage, I stopped at the mall, got some joggers, and a sweater because the cottage was freezing. And I stopped at the grocery store to get some food for dinner.

When I got back from town, I went down on the dock, played my singing bowl, set out the crystal grid, meditated, and wrote in my gratitude journal. I did a couple more paintings, had a DELICIOUS dinner, with MACRONS that I found at the grocery store!!!

For a birthday I spent by myself, it was wonderful!

Thursday, I was super disappointed because I ran out of white gouache paint, so my painting has come to a stand-still, so keeping entertained has been more challenging and I’ve literally ran out of data. Oops.

However, my hubby and friends should be here in the next few hours, so I only have to keep occupied for a short time! And on Monday (we go home Sunday), I’ll go get more white gouache paint so I can continue with my paintings!

3ish more weeks of recovery to go!