Day 22 of Self Love February:

When it comes to making important changes in your life, or if you’re going through a hard time, having a good support system in place is essential. It could be your partner, a friend, coworker, parent, or even your boss.

I’ve been blessed that my husband has been an incredible support system throughout our marriage. No matter what I was striving for, I always knew I could count on him to support me. When I need to lose weight, he makes sure certain foods remain out of the house and encourages me (us) to go to the gym or go for a walk.

My parents have always been supportive of me throughout the years, even as a child, but as I get older, the less I count on them (my mom, as my dad is now gone) but I know my mom supports me with everything. She doesn’t always understand, but she always supports.

One way I can improve my support system and make it stronger is with friends. I have a few friends who I know would be incredibly supportive, but I’m reluctant to engage with them when I could use them as I know they’re going through their own problems.

My one friend – she’s been our best friend for about 18+ years, probably closer to 20 – she got thrust back into her estranged father’s life and is trying to get him into assisted living. Another friend who is also a coworker, I’ve known for about 15 years but working together the past 3 years – we knew each other before either of us joined the military, she recently called off her wedding due to communication issues (to simplify it) with her fiancée – it’s not over, but there’s things they need to work out. And my other friend, who I’ve known for about 3 years when she was my Supervisor, the only good thing about her getting posted out of the unit, was it meant she was no longer my Supervisor, so we could be friends (military is funny that way, especially between Officers and NCMs) But she’s dealing with PTSD and mental health issues for both her and her husband (who is ex-military)

So you know what all this means?

EVERYONE has issues. Even my husband has his own issues. Those who love you will put their issues aside to help you. Every single one of my friends has offered to help me. I rarely – to never – accepted their help… but that is on me.

If you think you have no support, have a look around. Chances are, there’s people who would be there for you if you accept it. And, just as they are there for you, don’t forget to reciprocate the help when they need it, because everyone needs support at some point.

And if you truly have no one and you need to talk to someone, there’s crisis lines that you can call if you can’t get into a counselor or therapist.