So I have now had my purple and pink undercut hair for 2 weeks now and I still absolutely love it. I’ve been really nervous about it initially, but now I almost forget about it. I’ve had people stop me in the streets complimenting me on my hair. For the most part, I’ve changed every aspect of my appearance over the last month – though the process started about 2 months ago.

The problem was, I was comfortable. I was comfortable with being comfortable. But change doesn’t happen in a place of comfort. Change happens on the other side of comfort and I knew if I wanted to  make the changes to my life that I wanted, I needed to be uncomfortable.

So how does changing my appearance affect things?

Before, I would more or less disappear into a crowd. I was unremarkable – no, seriously! I’m nothing special, because, let’s face it, people DO judge a book by its cover. I don’t have great beauty – I never have and I’m okay with that! Some people are lucky in that aspect – they LOOK beautiful. I know I am a beautiful person to those who know me.

But, again, how does changing my appearance change how I feel?

Some (women) who take time on their hair, makeup, and clothing are called high maintenance or fake. And maybe that’s true when you’re younger and you’re trying to impress people. However, I’m 46. I’m way beyond that. Being mid-forties shouldn’t mean “giving up”, but dressing for myself. Do what I want, wear what I want, for myself. I AM WORTH IT! Mid-life women are still worthy of time and effort. They are still important and valid.

Now, yes, a lot of what I was able to do with my hair – and even makeup and nails – was dictated by being in the military. Though I had this haircut back in 2016/2017, hair color was severely limited to “natural looking” colors. Well, this past September, 2022, that all changed. We can now have our hair in any style and color, any number of earrings, even stretched lobes – even men! – nails can be any length and color… though I’m certain they still need to be all the same color/design – I haven’t tested that theory.

AGAIN, how does changing my appearance matter??

Back in September, I blogged about the “Unlock Your Feminine Power”  course and since then, I’ve been allowing that voice that I quietened so many years ago be heard. I’ve been allowing myself to be SEEN and heard. Patriarchal society wants us to believe that life for women ends at 30. If you’re not a parent by then, if you’re not a successful business woman, in a prosperous marriage, then you’re not of any use to society.

Fuck that shit.

There’s countless stories of women getting in the best shape of their lives in their 50’s and 60’s. There’s women who publish book in their 40’s and later. Most recent, there’s a 95 year old woman who just won the Latin Grammy for best new artist – like WHAT??! There is NO expiry date to success. There’s no “best before” date. There’s nothing stopping you from chasing your dreams NOW – at any age – except your own preconceptions and fears.

I’ve had SO many women in my unit comment that they would love to do something like what I did with my hair – but “they never could”. When I asked why not, their response was often “I just couldn’t” or “I’m not that bold”. Here’s the thing… neither am I!

People over the years (decades) have often assumed I am confident based off of my activities (Figure competitor). I’m really not. I have been insecure and shy most of my life. Even now, I am most likely not going to go up to a stranger and start a conversation and it even takes all my willpower to tell a stranger that I like an outfit or shoes or something they’re wearing or their hair – even though I know how much of a confidence boost it can be! I am trying to do more of that, though, because I know a complement coming from a woman means so much more to me than a complement coming from a man.

Sorry, guys, that’s the sad truth!

So even though I’m not entirely confident, my appearance (now) would say otherwise. You can’t hide with purple/pink hair – whether you want to or not, you’re going to stand out. I have to accept the fact that: a) people WILL notice me whether I like it or not, and; b) it might put some people off. They might see my “punk” hair and tattoos and formulate a likely inaccurate opinion of me – and that’s okay!

People’s opinion about myself has to do about them, not me.

I had someone ask me if I had been given any grief about my hair on my side of the office. Nope – not at all! Everyone appears to love it! It’s funny with the people who I don’t see all the time don’t always recognize me when they saw me the first time after. I rarely wore makeup before and my clothing was pretty subdued – not a lot of form or stylish – now it’s loud and colorful and more form fitting! I’m wearing heels and bold jewelry and everything is “me”!

The best part of the Feminine Power course – and identifying that I had a bit of an “identity crisis” going on – is that as I discover more about myself and undoing the limiting beliefs, I am able to create my Self how I want. I can look at how I’m presenting myself and change. I can “reinvent” myself in a way that makes me happy and excited.

And isn’t THAT what life is about? And it’s that happiness and excitement that I’m hoping and expecting to bleed into other areas of my life!

Yes, there’s going to be tough times – going through one now! But I know those times don’t last! But even those days that I don’t feel great, I still pull myself together, put on some makeup, and you know what? I always end up feeling better!